Preventium
by HiroProtag0nist
Summary: Ron and Hermione fall victim to a most heinous prank - or freak accident! But it's no more than you'd expect living with Fred and George. Post-war AU where Fred survives, no other major changes. One-shot.


**AU where Fred survives the Battle of Hogwarts. Otherwise no significant changes. My first fanfic! Reviews welcome!**

* * *

"Ron," Hermione whispered urgently. "We need to talk."

Ron looked up from his armchair nervously, but her face seemed frightened rather than angry. He glanced at Fred, who was preparing dinner in the kitchen and didn't seem to have heard, and wordlessly led Hermione to their bedroom. He was just about to sit down when she grabbed his arm and tugged him away from the bed, eyeing it with trepidation and picking up her wand from their bedside stand.

"Wha- "

"Revelium," she muttered, and a small dart of magic swept across the bed, but nothing appeared out of the ordinary.

She set her wand back down and turned to Ron, crossing her arms. "So what now?" she said, still looking upset.

"Er - sorry?"

"Ron, keep up. There's no magic on the bed."

"So..." he began uncertainly, and then it hit him. "Bloody hell. The Preventium?"

Hermione looked like she wanted to roll her eyes, but merely nodded. "It should show up."

Ron paled slightly, then reddened. "We'd - we'd better recast it."

Hermione gave a perfunctory nod and they climbed onto the bed, sat back to back, and went through the series of tricky wand motions that set up the Preventium Charm. It seemed to take hold, and when Hermione cast Revelium again, a thin string of bluish magic glowed around all four bedposts.

They turned back towards each other. Ron began speaking hurriedly.

"Look, Hermione, I promise I didn't break it - you know I wouldn't - "

Now she did roll her eyes. "Ron, of course not. The Preventium takes two to put up, and it takes two to break. Even if you wanted to, you'd be too embarrassed to ask Harry for help. Now, we have two problems. First, how did the charm fail? And second - well, what do we do if I'm pregnant?"

Ron dropped his eyes, ears very red. "Maybe - maybe the charm wears out after a while?"

"It's possible, but I was checking it every few days since we first cast it and it never looked any different. I last checked yesterday morning."

"D'you reckon Fred and George might've... I mean, as a prank?"

"I've never seen them do something that could have permanent consequences like this. I don't think they would."

Ron winced. "You didn't grow up with them. We'd better ask Verity if they've been at work."

Hermione sighed. "It's not quick to break a Preventium, but Merlin knows their charmwork is good enough..." She took Ron's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'll give her a quick Floo call."

"I can't believe you were checking the bed this whole time."

She shrugged. "Just in case."

He waved his arms helplessly. "Just in case," he repeated, copying her light tone.

* * *

Hermione reentered the bedroom to find Ron rocking back and forth on the bed, head in his hands. She sat and wrapped an arm around him. "Verity says they were both in the shop all day, and I left this morning after they did, so they had no chance to get in here today. But..." She hesitated. "She says yesterday they were both out in the afternoon."

Ron groaned. "I can't believe we agreed to rent a place with them."

"Having a baby would be the perfect excuse to kick them out."

Ron looked so horrified that Hermione instinctively checked his line of sight for spiders.

"Oh, Ron, snap out of it. We'll figure something out. For now let's go have a few words with your brothers."

They fetched George from his room and the three of them joined Fred in the kitchen. He had a wand in each hand - the second looked to be George's - one spinning a spoon around a large steaming pot, the other controlling a knife that was busily chopping carrots.

"I know you two love pulling pranks," said Hermione said stiffly, "but this is - "

"This isn't a prank, it's an outrage!" howled Ron, who was very red again. "It's unbelievable! Pranks are one thing, but this time you've ruined us! It's barbaric, this is!"

"Oh, good, you've snapped out of it," muttered Hermione irritably.

Fred and George were laughing. "What's gone wrong, then?" Fred asked happily.

Ron merely gave an exclamation of disgust and threw up his hands. Hermione said harshly, "You know very well what's gone wrong, and it isn't funny. What do you expect us to do now?"

Fred turned from his chopping and stirring, still grinning. The spoon rapped violently on the bottom of the pan and the knife started a sweeping circle that pushed several pieces of carrot onto the floor (George backed away rapidly). "That bad, eh? Come on, tell us all about it."

Ron huffed. "How about you tell us some things instead. Like why Verity says you weren't in the shop yesterday afternoon."

"I had to do a few things around here," said Fred jovially, and with a flourishing gesture the carrots flew into the pot behind his back. "Didn't you notice the Christmas lights are up?"

"I was doing some gift shopping around Diagon Alley," George added, eyeing Fred curiously.

"You sure, George? You didn't drop by here for a bit of tea or anything?" Ron's tone was scathing.

"For about an hour," Hermione added, her eyes narrowed.

"No, I didn't," he replied, his gaze now fixed on Fred.

"Right, and Merlin was a Squib," Ron grumbled.

"Seriously," George said. He was now facing his twin with an expression of frank betrayal. "I have no idea what happened here. I was in Diagon Alley."

Fred did not reply. He was still grinning uncertainly, glancing from Ron and Hermione to George. He pocketed the wands and began stirring the pot manually.

"George," said Hermione, "would you happen to have any proof you weren't here?"

George tore his eyes from Fred and shrugged. "I could give you a list of places I went to. And Verity could tell you I was back at the shop to help close. Oh - " He hurried off to his room and came back with a very large wall clock, whose hands were replaced by a miniature Snitch, Bludger, and Quaffle that flitted and zoomed from number to number. "I bought this for Harry and Ginny."

Ron and Hermione exchanged an uncertain glance. George was trying to gauge Fred's face, which was turned down toward the soup he was stirring.

"I - er, whatever you're worried about - I didn't do it," said Fred sheepishly into the silence without looking up. Ron and Hermione didn't reply, and George muttered, "I can't believe you didn't let me in on this."

Hermione cleared her throat. "This would have taken two people to pull off," she said gingerly. Fred glanced at her and then at George. "I told you I didn't do it," he said softly, looking pleadingly at his twin.

George watched him for a long moment. Then his face resolved. He turned toward Ron and Hermione and said, "We weren't involved. What's happened?"

* * *

"I cannot BELIEVE that worked!" howled George. Fred was giggling too hard for any response, his face buried in his pillow. "And I can't believe Hermione didn't know the Morning After Charm! I mean, she's Hermione!"

"Forgot she's - she's Muggleborn," Fred managed.

"Yeah, with that consideration it was an awful prank. Absolutely terrible," said George, still grinning broadly.

"No harm done. You ought to've been an actor!" said Fred, sitting up and thumping his twin on the back. "Even I was worried for a moment!"

"You weren't so bad yourself," chortled George. He lowered his voice to a reassuring bass. "'Must've just failed. Happens sometimes.' Very brotherly of you, Fred."

"Imagine! If Preventiums just failed without warning after a couple years," scoffed Fred.

"Ron was so scared!" George reminisced, overtaken by laughter once again.

"Ron was absolutely miserable," agreed Fred gleefully. "And then he had to talk to _us_ about it! I've never seen him that red."

"Why didn't _he_ know the charm?" said George suddenly. They looked at each other in bemusement. "I've no idea," replied Fred. "Maybe _we_ were supposed to show him! We wouldn't've known without Bill telling us!" And they burst into laughter again.

Then something caught George's eye. His laughter broke off suddenly, and he threw his hand over Fred's mouth, pointing. They held their breath.

The Extendable Ear jerked back under the door. A moment later it was thrown open and Ron and Hermione marched in, both fuming. "You're moving out," Hermione informed them. "Tomorrow," Ron added furiously.

"Ron - Hermione," tried George nervously. "We didn't really - er, that is - "

"Don't worry about the prank," said Hermione loftily. "Already forgiven" - though Ron was still looking daggers at his brothers - "but we have other reasons. We'll be needing more room for the baby."

Fred and George's eyes snapped to Ron in shock, but he did not react. "Er - Ronniekins?" Fred said waveringly. "Are you - is this - " He failed to finish the sentence. Ron, standing straight as a rod and quivering with rage, gave a short jerk of his head.

"Not so ickle anymore, is he," Hermione said coldly. Both twins were speechless. "Pack your bags. Tomorrow, out," Hermione reminded them, and she and Ron turned and left the room, slamming the door.

There was a long silence. Then - "Blimey," said the twins in unison.

Nine months later, Rose Granger-Weasley was born. She never believed the twins' tale of how they had convinced her parents to have children, but when she watched her father's face, she wondered if perhaps there was something to it after all.


End file.
